Fears....and more Fears!!!

Well, here it is June 4th and we have lived in our new home for almost 9 months now. It is taking me awhile to get used to the fact the kids sleep upstairs and I sleep downstairs! They are not in arm's reach let alone on the same floor as me...and that really scares me!

Since giving birth to my my first baby, I do nothing but worry! I would go into AJ's room and just stare at him until I seen his little chest go up and down. I would make sure he was ok when he would miss a feeding. I would get out of my just-drawn bath because I think I hear him crying only to find him sound asleep.

Then here comes my daughter Gabby. She wasn't as active in my belly as AJ was and I started to really worry about her before she was born. Last July she had her first asthma attack. Now I not only worry about her having another attack, but over-medicating her with albuterol. The doctors tell me she will be fine if I give her 2 or 3 treatments together.

Since the old house, I have carried a tradition of mine over to the new house. About once a month, at least, I wake up smelling and seeing smoke! The house is on fire!!! I get up and go check on the kids and by the time I get up there, the smell is gone and my eyes have cleared up.
This has been going on for years now!

One of my biggest fears at the old house was a tree falling on the house. We lived right up against some woods and there were quite a few tall dead trees. My husband worked nights part of the time and it seemed every night he was gone, we would have a severe thunderstorm. It would take me hours to get to sleep for fear that a tree would fall on our bedroom and trap me or kill me and nobody would know and save the kids.

Now in our new house we don't have any trees next to us. We live up on a hill and the houses aren't as close to us. We have 2 acres to ourselves. We live in the country. When we were house hunting, we looked at all houses with basements. To no avail, we settled on a brand new beautiful two-story home right outside the city with no basement!

January of this year, we had straightline winds. That is what they are saying, but I really do believe we had a small tornado come through. It was a very scary night for the kids and me. When we awoke the next morning, there was sheet metal scattered all over our yard as well as the neighbors yard on the left of us. Their barn lost it's roof, and it was torn to pieces and scattered everywhere. The neighbor on the right side of us had a big playground that was picked up and tossed over their fence. Pieces of their roof was also scattered about. The neighbor across the road had their front porch taken completely off. Their detached garage was lifted off of its foundation and tossed into the treeline about a thousand feet behind their home. I don't know if it was because our home is fairly new or if it was all about the kids praying to our Lord Jesus to keep us safe, but we had very minimal damage done. It was almost like it came to our home and split around us and headed for the other houses!

Last night I got little to no sleep. I stayed upstairs on the couch keeping my eyes glued to the tv. You can be sure that my heart was racing due to the storms that were going over the house. Tornado damage was all over the news. I am scared for me and my family. My husband is sound asleep downstairs, nothing is going to wake him up! About 3am, another storm comes. I start to fall asleep shortly after it passes only for another one to wake me up at 5am. About this time, I am soooo groggy I can't keep my eyes open. So I finally turned the tv off and went to sleep!

At 8:30am I awaken to my son crying that the toothfairy forgot to come. Uh-oh, my son's worst fear at age 7 came true! I jumped up and saved the day. I have been fearing that would happen since the day he lost his first tooth!